Unintentional
by The Italian Peach
Summary: [TATE, Oneshot, PostTwilight] Tony, Kate, and a graveside talk. Rating for one bad word.


Yes, the unimaginable has happened. I, Strawberry Fizz, have written a post-Twilight fic! Unbelievable? Yup.

So what's the story behind this unthinkable act? Well, I was listening to my Simple Plan CD (Still Not Getting Any) and the third track was a song called "Perfect World". And as I was listening to it, it dawned on me that this was the perfect TATE song. And I just HAD to write something.

I'm almost done with the third chapter of Meet the Todds, so be patient!

Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine. Neither is song.So neither belong to me. Got it? Good.

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It was dark. The wind whipped through the trees and sent up a whirlwind of leaves. They spun in the air for a time, then clattered against the gray sidewalk. The sound of brittle leaf against cement filled the air.

The streets were empty. The dull glow of the street lamps lit the way for no one. Everyone was home, bundled warmly in their favorite throw rug and sipping hot chocolate. Or tea. Or something hot. Everyone but him.

He was out in the cold, wearing only a jacket to protect himself from nature's wrath. He shivered, but did not feel the iciness as it descended around him. He only felt the cold marble slab against his back. Felt only the wet grass he was seated upon.

Shifting his weight, he began to talk. To no one. No one was with him, around him, or anywhere in plain sight. The wind carried his voice away, up toward the heavens.

_I never could've seen this far  
I never could've seen this coming  
It seems like my world's falling apart, Yeah  
Why is everything so hard  
I don't think that I can deal with the things you said  
It just won't go away _

"Hey Kate," he said softly. But not too softly. "It's been three months since you left." He paused. "I really, really miss you." The wind picked up in intensity. He wrapped his arms closer to himself for warmth.

"I keep thinking about all those times you said you hated me. You weren't serious were you? You know I love you, right? You know that I'll love you till I die. Don't you?"

A dog howled in the distance. He kept talking.

"I never thought it would be you. I wish it never was. I wish that Ari had just clean missed." He buried his face in his hands. "But he didn't. And now my life is in shambles. I miss you so much."

_In a perfect world  
This could never happen  
In a perfect world  
You'd still be here  
And it makes no sense  
I could just pick up the pieces  
But to you  
This means nothing  
Nothing at all _

"McGee spilled Gibbs's coffee again today. I didn't tease him about it. I knew you'd tell me not to be so mean." He turned his face to the sky. Rain was starting to fall. He felt the first pinpricks of water hit his face, mingling with his tears.

"The new girl is nothing like you. She can't draw or profile people as well. She doesn't get along with Abby. She told Ducky to shut up. She's mean to McGee. She drank Gibbs's coffee." More raindrops fell now.

"She's nothing like you at all. And I hate her for not being you."

_I used to think that I was strong  
Until the day it all went wrong  
I think I need a miracle to make it through, Yeah  
I wish that I could bring you back  
I wish that I could turn back time  
Cuz I can't let go  
I just can't find my way, Yeah  
Without you I just can't find my way _

"I stopped going to bars after that day. I haven't gotten laid in three months. Are you proud of me?" The corners of his mouth tweaked upward in a smile, but only for a moment. "I don't think I can fully live again."

"There was a suspect that I had to interrogate named Kate. She looked so much like you. I couldn't do it. Gibbs had to drag me out of the room since I was crying so hard that I could talk."

The tears came faster now, as did the rain. His voice crackled as he continued to speak. "Are you ashamed of me? I know that you'd want me to go on living like nothing happened, but it's so hard. It's so fucking hard."

_In a perfect world  
This could never happen  
In a perfect world  
You'd still be here  
And it makes no sense  
I could just pick up the pieces  
But to you  
This means nothing  
Nothing at all _

"Can you hear me Kate? Can you hear my heart breaking? Do you miss us? God, cause I miss you so much."

It was pouring now, but he didn't notice. Didn't notice that he was soaked to the bone. "It shouldn't have happened. Why is everything so imperfect?" He was mad suddenly, ramming his fist against the stone.

"Why did you leave me? Didn't you know how much you meant to me? You were my world, my entire world!"

The energy suddenly depleted, and he was once again reduced to tears. "I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault."

_I don't know what I should do now  
I don't know where I should go  
I'm still here waiting for you  
I'm lost when you're not around  
I need to hold on to you  
I just can't let you go  
Yeah  
Yeah _

He stood and walked to the front of the stone and traced the words engraved on it with his fingers. Pressing his forehead against the cold marble, he let his tears fall on the mound of dirt and grass. "How do I live without you Kate?"

The wind rustled the trees. He lay down next to the mound, not caring that his jeans were ruined. Turning his head so that his cheek was pressed against the ground that covered her body, he whispered softly, "Teach me how to live again. Teach me how to move on. Teach me how to let you go."

He pressed his ear against the ground now, and listened.

_In a perfect world  
This could never happen  
In a perfect world  
You'd still be here  
And it makes no sense  
I could just pick up the pieces  
But to you  
This means nothing  
Nothing at all  
You feel nothing  
Nothing at all  
Nothing at all _

The rain formed a dense curtain that shielded him from the view of unwanted eyes. The world would keep moving, spinning, and others would wake up to their coffee and paper as though some great tragedy had not happened.

He moved away from the grave. Life would continue for him, with or without her. He would never stop mourning, but he wanted to live in such a way that would please her. He wanted to live in a way that would make her proud of him.

And as he left behind the cold marble slab, he swore he could've heard the sound of footsteps that did not belong to him, swore he could feel arms embrace him and lips kiss him one last time. He swore he could've heard the laughter of a woman who had unintentionally changed his life forever.

**End

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If you want to hear the song, go to www(dot)xanga(dot)com/music(underscore)galore, press Ctrl and F, type in Simple Plan, click on the link it takes you to, and click on "Perfect World". You might have to save it to your computer for it to work. It's a really really good song.

This was my first attempt at a post Twilight fic, so tell me how I did. (That means you should review!)

LONG LIVE TATE!


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